Unlike the days of old when romance involved an introduction via someone you know, and a long courtship before love blossomed, modern dating has considerably speeded up the process of getting lucky. These days, you can flirt and chat on You’ve Pulled, hook up on an App, or visit a professional Matchmaker who will pair you with a compatible suitor.
To bag yourself the perfect partner, you’ll also need to navigate five stages of dating, and to follow these golden rules…
Your No.1 priority
Before you can explore the exciting first stage of dating, where there’s an abundance of romance and attraction as you’re starting to get to know each other, it’s important that you make yourself your No.1 priority.
Finding a love interest is only one of the goals that you should have in life. It’s crucial that you don’t make dating your entire focus, as it can easily become an obsession. Instead, get to know who you really are and what you want, in all areas of your life.
Worrying is pointless
Everyone has irrational fears about being rejected by someone they’re crushing on. Maybe you’re worried that you’re too old, too fat, too much or you’re not good enough. When you spend time getting to know yourself, you’ll realise that there’s no need to worry about anything, as you are worthy of what you want.
Knowing your worth makes the necessary process of weeding out the people who are simply not the right fit for you much easier, less stressful and quicker. Having fun chatting and flirting with friendly strangers on You’vePulled can also help you appreciate your dazzling personality, awesome sense of humour, social skills, and what you have to offer in a love relationship.
Become a total ‘catch’
To be successful at modern dating, you’ll need to be a total catch. Don’t be shy about showing off your best attributes – kindness, compassion, empathy, patience and positivity – at every possible opportunity. Be authentic, and be yourself at all times.
Make the most of being unattached and doing whatever you fancy. Spend some time dating yourself – visiting attractions, museums, cinemas, concerts and other places where you’ll have fun solo experiences. If you have a hobby or special interest, take your knowledge to the next level. All of the time that you invest in yourself will pay dividends when dating potential lovers, as you’ll boost your chances of attracting someone who sees you as a total catch.
Don’t compromise
When you’re ready to date, make a pact with yourself that you won’t compromise on the important stuff.
If you’re serious about finding love, it’s essential to have non-negotiable core values – communication, trust, respect, sense of independence, compassion, and loyalty. Compromising on these can have a detrimental impact on your success in love and romance.
Be prepared to rethink the infatuation, if your crush comes up short on the No Compromise checklist.
If they’ve scored plenty of ticks, it’s ok to make small compromises on the little things, so that you both strike a healthy 50/50 balance between getting and not getting everything you want.
Trust your gut feelings
As you’re dating and getting to know someone, you’ll have many shared experiences that offer you an opportunity to explore how they make you feel.
Deciding if you want to be together is the second stage of modern dating, and it involves trusting what your gut is telling you. If you’re getting good vibes, relax and enjoy the special moments together.
Don’t be tempted to ignore red flags or twinges of doubt or concern though. Never accept bad behaviour, or disrespect in any form. Failure to trust your gut feelings could land you in an unhealthy situation that is hard to get out of.
Share the burden
It’s common for couples to hit a rocky patch where you have to make an effort to work out your differences to find stability in the relationship. This is the third stage of modern dating in practice.
Yes, it takes courage and confidence to openly share your personal views on things, with your partner. But it’s healthy to be able to agree to disagree.
However, if you and your partner never see eye to eye, or you’re always fighting about something, take a step back to check in with yourself and to look at the bigger picture.
If you’re not able to work together as a team and share the burdens that arise in your relationship, maybe it’s time to seek help from an outside source. Couples Therapy can help you identify issues that are blocking the flow of happiness and joy in your love connection.
Take it slow
To fall deeply in love, and reach the fourth stage of stability in a relationship, it’s essential to take it real slow. Even if you see your partner 24/7, make an effort to enhance the romance. Take it slow and plan regular date nights so that you can both relax and unplug from everyday responsibilities and the pressures of life, and simply enjoy being together.
Your love will naturally evolve through many different phases that require you both to weather the storms of emotional shifts, and changes to relationship dynamics.
If you follow the golden rules of modern dating, don’t be surprised to find yourself in a healthy, long-term relationship, and the final and fifth stage of sustainable love and commitment.