How To Be More Socially Confident

Confident in dating

There’s a lot that you can do to improve your self-image and be more socially confident, if you’re someone who often feels awkward making small talk. Social confidence isn’t something that everyone is born with. It’s a skill that can be developed with regular practice, and mastered in public at every social engagement and interaction opportunity.

Chatting and flirting with friendly singles from all over the UK, on You’vePulled, is a fun and easy way to exercise your social skills. Building confidence requires patience, commitment and dedication, as well as compassionate and kind self-talk. Taking baby steps, towards your goal of becoming socially confident in any situation, will also help you feel more self-assured.

Shyness vs social anxiety

It’s common to feel some level of nervousness before, during, or after social situations. Meeting new people, introducing yourself, going on a date or a job interview, and feeling pressured to make small talk are everyday situations that can make many people feel overwhelmed and anxious.

Having a healthy relationship with yourself will help you identify if you’re naturally shy, a little nervous, or if social anxiety is what blights your confidence. If feeling awkward in social situations becomes more extreme, you could be diagnosed with the mental health condition of clinical social anxiety, which will benefit from professional help.

Confidence boosting practical strategies

There are many effective practical strategies that you can use every day to build social confidence over time.

To help manage nervousness before a social event, it’s a good idea to do some homework. Ease feelings of nervousness by finding out as much as you can about the details of the event you’re attending, so that you know what to expect in advance. The information can also be useful in helping you to plan ahead, and to create a mental list of topics you can refer to when you’re lost for words.

Even if you’ve taken the time to prepare with care, there may be occasions when the unexpected happens. Reframing how you usually view uncertainty will help you manage pangs of social anxiety that can creep up on you in unpredictable situations.

Shift your perspective

Try to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Imagine yourself swapping roles with your super confident best friend, the most charismatic person in the room, or your favourite celebrity. Now give yourself permission to act like your playing the part of someone who’s naturally relaxed in any situation… Notice how your confidence level rises, once you let go of limiting self-belief and self-doubts.

Regularly engaging in positive affirmations will help to support your self-confidence boosting journey. Make it a habit to practice positive self-talk instead of the usual self-criticism that you’ve grown accustomed to speaking and hearing.

Be inspired by famous sports stars and speak motivating words out loud, in the privacy of your personal space, as you visualise yourself achieving your desired outcome in a social environment. See yourself bagging your dream job, a second date, or achieving something great at any event that makes you feel anxious just thinking about it. Soak up those feel-good moments that make your confidence soar.

While you’re practicing what you can say to be more socially confident, it’s also important to pay attention to the physical clues that your body displays in public. Body language makes up 55% of communication impact, with tone of voice claiming 38% and verbal just 7%.

Enhance social confidence by adjusting your posture so that your spine is straight, shoulders are pulled back and your head is raised in perfect alignment. Avoid defensively crossing your arms, and nervous fidgeting. To appear more confident in social situations, make eye contact and speak in a clear voice at a volume others can easily hear.

You’re not the only one

Although feelings of shyness, awkwardness and social anxiety can be isolating, it’s important to remember that you’re not the only person on the planet that feels this way.

Take comfort in the fact that the person you’re talking to may also lack social confidence, and feel just as anxious as you during certain interactions. The next time that you’re socialising, show off your best genuine smile, and implement the practical strategies that you’ve been practicing every day.

If you need an extra confidence boost before a social occasion, practice your confidence boosting techniques while chatting to a friendly stranger on You’ve Pulled. Improving your social skills and confidence is a lot more fun when you’re flirting with someone you fancy, while not feeling under any pressure.


How To Become Irresistibly Dateable

Confident, charismatic and enigmatic people are not born with special powers that instantly mesmerise others and attract good luck, a great romantic partner, and all the best opportunities. These irresistibly dateable men and women simply believe in themselves and trust that they’re worthy of receiving respect, love and affection that’s unconditional and unlimited.

On You’vePulled, you can chat, flirt with and date singles in your area that are looking to connect with an irresistibly dateable person like you!

If you want to able to confidently walk into a room and have everyone gaze in your direction and vie for your attention, just follow our practical steps…

Be friendly

People who smile warmly and engage others with a friendly “hello” are naturally irresistible. A genuine smile is a priceless asset, and a signal that you’re approachable.

Even if you’re shy or lacking in self-confidence, being friendly to others is totally doable. Every day, challenge yourself to greet everyone that you meet on the street with a smile. If you’re not usually much of a smiler, grinning at strangers may make you feel a little silly at first. But it only takes one person to smile back to show you that the effort is worth it.

And if you’re dating online, make sure that your up-to-date profile photo shows off your most dazzling smile. Sending a cheeky ‘wink’ or an icebreaker message is the equivalent of saying a friendly “hi”.

Ooze good vibes

Once you’ve got someone’s attention, with a killer smile that lights up your entire face, it’s time to let your good vibes work their magic.

An irresistible person oozes positive good vibes. People are magnetically drawn to their high vibrational energy, and want to spend time basking in their invisible glow.

To raise your vibe, it’s essential that you dump all negativity. You may need to shift your mindset, adjust your limiting self-beliefs, and tweak your critical self-talk. Letting go of self-sabotaging behaviour is also crucial, if you want to ensure that your magnetic aura is shiny and pristine.

You’ll know that you’ve raised your vibe sufficiently, when you find that people are inexplicably transfixed by your words, charm, sense of humour, or natural beauty.

Be mysterious

Having an air of mystery is undeniably attractive. If you’re an open book, there’s little to maintain anyone’s interest beyond the initial intrigue of discovering who you are, what you do, and your personality type.

Being mysterious keeps people on their toes. Because they have to work harder to gain your interest, favour and trust, you automatically become more alluring, unique and special to someone who is attracted to you.

Whether you’re chatting and flirting with sexy strangers on You’vePulled, or connecting to new people in person, hold back from offering up too much personal information. Keep them coming back for more by sharing a few juicy titbits and leave them guessing. Someone who’s seriously into you will view you as a catch, and will love the challenge of pursuing you to get to know you on a deeper level.

Believe in yourself

Irresistible people walk with their head held high. Their self-confidence is admirable and enticing.

People who master self-belief are strong, independent and resilient, and know how to bounce back from the challenges of life with renewed confidence and purpose every time. To improve your self-belief, as an irresistibly dateable person, it’s vital that you practice self-love, conquer your limiting beliefs, and take full credit for your achievements.

Get into the habit of bigging yourself up on a regular basis. Recognise and value your self-worth and your abilities, and be proud of who you are.

Be the real deal

While it’s great to be super confident, smart, funny, intelligent and sexy, the most appealing quality that anyone can have is authenticity.

When you’re authentic and genuine, there’s nothing fake about you. You’ll be naturally irresistible to everyone around you, regardless of whether you like it or not. Your captivating charm, admirable confidence and pure magnetism will make people gravitate towards you, and want to date you. They’ll also wonder what your secret is.


Is It Love Or Lust?

When you’re having fun chatting to friendly and flirty new friends, on the mobile dating site You’vePulled, it’s super easy to get caught up in the excitement of making instant connections.
Once you ‘click’ with someone you fancy you may be surprised by how quickly your interactions progress online. Sending a cheeky wink, engaging in flirtatious banter and reciprocal personal emails, and making first date plans can take no time at all!
Whilst you’re thrilled at the prospect of hooking up with the hot guy or girl that you’re into in a big way, you may not have considered what’s driving the connection.
Is it genuine romantic feelings (that could blossom into love) that you’re experiencing? Or is it lust for NSA carnal pleasure and gratification?

What’s On Your Mind?

Because love and lust activate similar neural pathways in the brain, it can be difficult to discern which state you’re in. For dating success, it’s vital that you’re honest with yourself about what you’re looking for, in terms of an emotional connection, intimacy and sex.
If you’re chatting with new people on You’vePulled to fill a void and to expand your social life, you may be quite happy to keep communication strictly platonic and online.
If you’re craving passion and a NSA rendezvous with a sexy stranger, dating exclusively and falling in love is probably the last thing that you plan to do.
However, if you long for companionship that grows naturally over time and you’re interested in exploring the dating scene, love is likely to be your primary focus, when you’re checking out the member profiles on You’vePulled.
Having an open-minded approach allows you to explore multiple options, and to decide what you want to do with them. If you don’t want to gain a reputation for being a player, it’s always best to take your time before you dive into any type of romantic or sexually charged experience with someone new. Let the other person know what you’re hoping for from the connection, and where you draw the line.

It’s Purely Lust

Lust is an intense attraction and a desire to get to know someone sexually. When you’re exchanging flirty messages with lots of hot singles, on a safe, secure and discreet dating platform, it’s easy to get carried away and to have lustful thoughts. As your hormones are on fire, you may not be thinking with your brain, and you could make hasty decisions that you later regret.
If you’re looking for casual connections, and plenty of steamy sex, you’re probably lost in lust.
You’re likely to:
• Love bomb the object of your affection
• Feel intensely driven to send explicit messages
• Want to exchange naughty photos
• Dream about tearing your POI’s clothes off
• Desire to hook up on a date that promises sexual gratification
For you, it’s probably unlikely that you will want the sexy fling to turn into something more.

It Could Be Love

Love is a complex emotion that can involve friendship, attraction, passion, chemistry, lust, and a whole lot more. You can fall for someone at first sight, or take forever to realise that they’re the One for you.
You can also love someone you’re not sexually attracted to, and be sexually compatible with someone for whom you have no love feelings. And you can be deeply head over heels or completely infatuated.
Genuine love is something that creeps up on you, when you least expect it. When you feel like your world has been transformed by your POI, it’s probably love that you’re sensing. When this happens you want to spend very moment with this person, lashing attention on them. During the attraction phase, you feel energised and can easily go without eating or sleeping. As the bond deepens, you form a loving attachment that involves affection, trust, and acceptance of each other.

It’s love when:
• Every thought you have involves your POI
• You want to be close to them all the time.
• Butterflies dance in your stomach
• You’re not sleeping or eating well

Instead of trying to define the connection that you’re establishing with someone that you’re chatting to on You’vePulled, relax and enjoy the experience. There’s no rush to give what you’re feeling a label, and to put it in a ‘love’ or ‘lust’ box. Allow things to unfold naturally and see what develops. You could find that the states of love and lust fluctuate before you’re ready to give it all you’ve got. Enjoying the flirting experience should help you identify which of the two intimacy options most appeals to you.


5 Reasons Why Singles Have More Fun

For the first time in history, there are more single people than married couples worldwide. While being in love can be absolutely amazing, embracing the single life can offer you a richly rewarding experience too!

Society and popular culture may have you believing that you need to be one half of a couple to feel happy and whole. But it’s a myth that you need anyone to make your life joyous and fun. After all, you are the person in charge of creating your own happiness.

If you’ve been single for a while, and you’re not enjoying this lifestyle experience, perhaps it’s time to shift your perspective…

You can chat, flirt and message thousands of single people just like you on the You’vePulled mobile dating platform. Getting to know other singles, in your area and nationwide, can open up a new social life, offer countless dating opportunities, and alter your entire viewpoint of singledom. It can also highlight how being independent and unattached is much more fun than you may think!

  1. You Live And Play By Your Rules

As a single person, you do not have to answer to anyone, or to take responsibility for others. You have complete freedom to live your life by your own rules.

There’s no need to pretend that you want to do stuff, just to keep your partner sweet. It’s also not an issue how you choose to spend your time or money. You can eat the food you like, and enjoy activities that please you. Plus, you can have your own way all of the time.

To make your experience of single living more fun, consider trying new things that require you to step out of your comfort zone. Dare yourself to sign up for an evening class, a workshop, or sports activitiy that you have wanted to try out for some time. Join a local club or team, and explore your passion for a hobby. As you’re acquiring new skills and knowledge, you’ll also meet like-minded people who can become new friends that share your interests.

  1. You Can Focus On Your Career

More personal growth and development is available, if you’re single and your time is your own. In a relationship, it can be common for one partner to be more career-minded than their lover, which can often be a cause of romantic disharmony.

As a single person you can channel all of your energy into creative projects, building up a business, or advancing your career. No one will mind if you decide to work extra hours. You also don’t have to consider the needs of others, if you’re required to take a business trip. There’s no need to feel guilty simply because you’re putting your career first.

To balance out all of the overtime you’ve been working, you can enjoy social downtime with your co-workers, or mix and mingle with fellow entrepreneurs at networking events. You could even get lucky and connect with people who can open doors of opportunity in your business niche or line of work.

  1. You Can Expand Your Social Circle

People who are in a long-term relationship often make compromises that impact on their social life. One person’s insecurities may make their partner have to choose between hanging out with friends at the weekend or showing a commitment to love. Compromised relationship dynamics could also make you feel constantly under pressure to be on your best behaviour when making polite conversation with a partner’s friends or family members.

As a single person, you call the shots on your social life. You get to choose who you spend time with, where you go, and what you do for entertainment. You can stay in or go out whenever you like, and broaden your social horizons by flirting and chatting to a diverse group of people. And if you fancy hooking up for NSA adult fun, the experience will be absolutely guilt-free.

When you’re single, you have time to develop friendships on a deeper level, and to surround yourself with upbeat, fun and positive people who support your lifestyle choices. You get to choose who you want to invite into your expansive social circle, and you can spend as much time as you want with them.

  1. You’re The Boss

When you’re single and live on your own, your life is likely to be mostly drama free. There’s no bickering over trivial matters or fighting over the TV remote control, and no hurt feelings that you have to try your best to soothe. You’re the boss of your domain, and what you say goes.

If you don’t already have a bucket list, have fun creating a checklist of places you long to visit and experiences that you’d love to enjoy. Embarking on a solo adventure can teach you a great deal about yourself, and introduce you to a world that has no social limitations.

  1. You Know Who You Are

As a single person, your primary focus is your self. Spending time alone is greatly beneficial when learning how to love yourself, and exploring what makes you tick.

Having emotional space and freedom also means that you can develop your spirituality without the need to explain yourself. To know who you are at the core, it’s necessary to delve deep into personal matters that impact on your behaviour, feelings, thoughts and emotions.

Once you connect with your authentic self, you will never want to compromise on anything. You’ll feel inspired to create a life that is uniquely your own based on your priorities, values, passions and interests. And of course, because your authentic self is so awesome, you’ll effortlessly attract your perfect love match, should you want one.

Dating Miscellaneous

5 Chat Topics To Avoid On A First Date

Couple on a first date

Before you embark on meeting up with the sexy stranger you’ve been flirting with and chatting to on the UK’s busiest phone chat line, it’s highly recommended that you consider your potential chat topics. What you chat about on a first date can greatly influence the perception of you that the other person gets, and lead to dating success or failure.

You’ll naturally want to impress your date with your personality, sense of humour, and communication skills. While it’s definitely a good idea to have a repertoire of chat topics, to ensure that the conversation is relaxed and flowing, there are some hot topics that are best avoided…

  1. Dating & Romance Failures

You’ve been busy chatting, texting and flirting with someone who caught your eye on You’ve Pulled’s instant and totally anonymous 24/7 chat line, and now you’re keen to get to know this person better. Exploring common ground and shared experiences is usually where most people start, when trying to build rapport and a connection with someone they like.

As you’ve met on a flirt and date chat line, it makes sense to talk about each other’s past romantic experiences. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with briefly mentioning previous dates who’ve been on, provided that it’s not an endless list. Going into detail and describing past first date disasters, and your impressive ability to pick losers, should also be avoided. Your date also doesn’t want to hear the horror stories and dysfunctional dramas about how crazy your ex was. Save the complaining for conversations with your friends.

A first date is a prime opportunity to get to know someone new without having to dredge up your entire relationship history. Focus instead on discussing your ambitions in life, and your bucket list.

  1. Money

Talking about money is superficial and can make people feel instantly uncomfortable and awkward. Money talk can give the impression that you’re financially motivated (not a good way), or label you a gold digger. If someone’s solvency status is important to you, check out your date’s clothes and grooming habits for hints and clues of their wealth.

First date banter should be light and fun, so swap a serious subject for a topic that makes you smile and laugh. Talk about your favourite comedy shows and movies, and share tales of funny experiences you’d had that will make your date laugh out loud.

  1. Controversial Stuff

There’s no quicker way to spoil the mood on a first date than by bringing up controversial matters like religion and politics. Everyone has unique beliefs and personal values, but a first date is not the occasion to explore these. To avoid having a heated debate, swerve these topics – unless you have a day job as a member of the clergy or a politician, and you have a juicy piece of hot gossip to share.

If you love controversy, talk about subjects that you know really well, and your unusual hobbies. Your date will find it fascinating learning all about something they’ve never experienced.

  1. Sex

If you’re been flirting outrageously on the UK’s busiest phone chat line, there’s a high probability that your banter has had sexual undertones. When you met in person for the first time though, it’s best to skip talking about sex. Talking about it increases the possibility of ending up in bed and having a one-night stand. If you’re keen on this person, that spur-of-the-moment experience may scupper your chances of a second date.

If you don’t want your date to run a mile, don’t chat about your promiscuous past, one-night-conquests and long list of sexual fantasies. Reserve the flirtation for your eye contact and body language, and talk about art, music, travel, and other things you are equally passionate about instead.

  1. You

Yes, it’s great that you’re awesome, super confident and have high self-esteem, but endlessly talking about yourself will make your date feel that you don’t really have time for anyone else. Listening to someone’s self-adulation quickly kills the conversation, and extinguishes any chemistry or spark that may have been igniting.

Create an air of mystery about yourself, and increase your date’s interest in you, by turning the tables and showing undivided attention. Make them feel special by asking thoughtful questions, and actively listening. By the end of your date, they will have a higher opinion of you than if you had babbled on for hours and made the conversation all about you.

Date Ideas Dating

Cheap and Easy Last Minute Valentine’s Day Date Ideas

Rather than going out for a fancy dinner, we think these date ideas are great for something a little different, especially if you’re on a budget!

Have a movie marathon.
When you think of Valentine’s Day you think of classic rom-coms but you can adapt to what you both like! Watch some of your favourite films, or catch some newer ones, go wherever the mood takes you! You can snuggle up in bed or on the sofa with blankets and snacks for a romantic evening together.

Cook dinner together.
You don’t need to cook anything fancy, find out what meal you both love and cook it together. It’s a great chance to bond and show off your cooking skills and also learn new ones.

Take a romantic walk and/or have a picnic.
No matter where you live there are likely to be lovely walks to go on, be it along the promenade of the seafront, in a park or in the countryside. Weather permitting you could even incorporate a picnic. Take some snacks and some wine and a blanket and sit somewhere with a nice view and enjoy each other’s company.

Have an indoor picnic.
More than likely the weather in February isn’t going to be ideal for an outdoor picnic, especially in the evening if you’re both working so arrange an indoor picnic instead! Put a blanket on the living room floor, get some finger food and some wine and just enjoy being with each other. There’s less pressure than having a dinner together and not much preparation required.

Organise a game night.
This could either be on a console or with traditional board games – or both! You can challenge each other in 2-player games on your console or play some traditional board games together. You could even combine this with forfeits for the loser!

Visit a museum or art gallery.
If you both enjoy similar things, why not visit a local museum or art gallery? There are all sorts of different types so there’s likely to be something you can both enjoy. A lot of these are also free so it doesn’t need to cost much. There’ll be plenty of talking points so if you’re in a newer relationship it’ll give you a chance to learn about each other as well as whatever you’re looking at.

Go Geocaching.
Get a geocaching app and go on an adventure together!
Navigate your way around the local area and find cleverly hidden containers and sign the log book.
There might be things to trade or just things to look at but either way you can have fun hunting together.

Share a home spa day.
You don’t need to go to an actual spa in order to relax. Light some candles, put on some relaxing music and trade massages. This can be a really romantic way to connect with your partner with the added bonus of being totally relaxed at the end of it.

If you’ve yet to meet someone to share the day with, join You’ve Pulled today and get chatting to singles in your area!

Dating Mobile Dating Phone Chat

Chat With Singles With You’ve Pulled!

A young couple having a conversation on a bench in the street

There are many ways to meet singles with You’ve Pulled, try one of them today!

Text Chat
You’ve Pulled brings you a great text chat service for singles in the UK. It’s a fast and easy to use SMS mobile contact, dating and chat service that you can enjoy direct on your mobile. Once you have signed up we start sending you matching profiles of people within your area. Text dating has opened up a whole new world for singles who want to contact, chat and flirt with like-minded people. In no time at all you’ll make new friends and find matches.

Just text the word PULL to 89398 – We’ll then send you a text asking your age plus the age of the people you want to chat with, along with some additional information such as your post code. At this stage all messages are free. Once you get started, there is a minimum charge of £1.50 for 5 texts sent and received. Standard network charges apply.

Phone Chat
You’ve Pulled brings you the chance to chat and meet singles from all around the UK on your phone on the UK’s largest and best chatline service. Our service runs 24 hours a day all year long and costs are from only 13p per minute plus your phone company’s access charge.
Remember if you’re calling us from your mobile to always use our shortcode as it’s just 25p per minute with NO hidden extras!

Give us a call and you’ll find hundreds of people chatting right now from all over the UK. The best thing about our service is we DO NOT USE OPERATORS so whoever you talk to you can be guaranteed that they are real and genuine – just like you. It’s the perfect place to indulge in some casual chat, phone fun, flirting and dating on the line with like-minded single girls and guys from all parts of the country.

With live 1-2-1 chat, 100% genuine callers, a cheaper credit card option, and the opportunity to record your own introduction, it’s a great way to get to know local singles.


Mobile Dating

Mobile dating with You’ve Pulled couldn’t be more fun. Simply join for free and start dating and meeting up with some of our lovely singles from all over the UK.

Once you’ve joined we have some great features designed to get you that all important first date – join for free on your mobile and start dating with singles near you now. There is so much to see and do on You’ve Pulled that the only way to really enjoy it is by signing up now.

Unlike other dating sites, we can’t guarantee you’ll find love but you’ll have fun trying on You’ve Pulled!

Dating Pulling tips

How To Stay Safe On A First Date

Stay safe when meeting someone for the first time. Our guide to first date safety.

Date Ideas Dating

Festival Season – Summer of Love!

Summer of LoveSummer of Love 2

Festival season is finally here and there’s nothing like great live music playing out, as the sun sets on a warm summer’s day to bring two people together.

Check out our pick of some of the best festivals happening around the UK and take someone on a date they’ll remember this summer!

Festival list

So join for free with You’ve Pulled today and take that someone special!


If Party Leaders Had Dating Profiles – Nick

As election fever hits, for a bit of fun, we’ve imagined what the dating profiles would look like for party leaders. Fancy a date with Nick?Nick

Register for free with You’ve Pulled now and find some suitable ‘candidates’ for you!