It’s that time of the month again where we give you, our members a chance to ask the awkward questions you want the answers to.
Last month we brought you photo tips and advice and prompted you to send us questions about confidence and how to boost it. We were inundated with some really great questions, but unfortunately we can only answer a few per email, meaning we picked the most common questions and brought you what we thought were the best answers. Next month’s topic is Dates, including the do’s and don’ts, what to say, what not to say, etc… so if you’ve got any questions about dates, be it your first, second or maybe even third date, we’re here to offer our advice.
Remember to send your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll do our best to answer them in next month’s edition.
HOW DO YOU ASK SOMEONE OUT ON A DATE?
Asking someone out on a date is always daunting, and unless there is a clear spark there, is very rarely easy. But there are a couple of simple things to remember which should make it a little easier.
1. Prepare yourself for rejection: No one likes to be told no, but it’s a fact of life and something we have to take in our stride and accept we aren’t going to get what we want. This is no more relevant than when asking someone out on a date. By preparing yourself for the worst, you are already getting over the biggest hurdle and in return, getting over your worries which bring on a lack of confidence and affect performance.
2. Avoid straight forward questions: Unless you’re 100% sure the answer is going to be ‘Yes’ avoid asking outright “will you go out with me” as this often leads to a short and simple “No!”, knocking your confidence and leaving you with nothing else to come back with. Try making it less formal whilst leaving options. “Hey, I’d really like to get together sometime and do something with you”. Not only does this open a conversation of the whats, wheres and whens, but it also reduces the possibilities for the other party to simply knock you back.
3. Know when to give up: It should be pretty clear from the outset as to whether the other party is interested in a date or not. If after following the steps above, and you’ve suggested a couple of dates and you’re still getting short, one-word answers of “Not Free”, “I’m busy that day” and “sorry, I can’t make it”.
It’s now time to cut your losses and give up as each rejection is just going to knock your confidence more and more, making it even harder for the next time as well as making you look more and more desperate. Know when to give up and move on.
Why not log in now, follow these short and simple steps and find someone to take out on a date now.
HOW TO ASK IF SEX IS IMPORTANT?
To some people sex is a big part of an intimate relationship whereas to others, it’s not important in the slightest. Some people find this a hard subject to raise due to sex being looked upon as a taboo matter. However, the best way to approach this is to be straight forward and honest.
There isn’t an easy way to bring it up, nor is it a good idea to speak in code. Be open, be honest and ask. Afterall, if the person is right for you, they will understand and the conversation will flow, if it doesn’t then maybe you’ve not found your perfect match.
WHAT IS AN ACCEPTABLE AGE GAP?
Permitting both parties are within the legal age of consent, there is no rule on age difference, it is simply down to the people involved and whether or not you feel comfortable with the difference in age between the two of you. No matter how comfortable you feel together in the quiet of the home, if you feel uncomfortable outside in public with the other person because of the age difference, then it’s not right for you.
If you both share common interests, and there is a spark there, then there is nothing wrong with an age gap.
Now you have the answers, it’s time to act on them. And don’t forget, there’s nothing to it, it’s simply a case of being confident… try it – it could be the key to your new online dating success.
Next month we’re looking at dates where we’ll cover where to go, what not to do, things to wear, and overall coaching tips.
So email your questions to email@example.com and we’ll publish the best ones, along with answers from our very own experts in next month’s email.