You’ve Pulled presents the top ten tips for pulling

Fed up with being more George Formby than George Clooney? Don’t despair as the YP team have put together the top ten pulling tips to guarantee success. After years of hard research trawling through bars, clubs, and alley ways in search of the opposite sex…we have put together this valuable tome to help one and all in their quest for pulling.

These simple rules apply to both guys and girls.

  1. Clean your teeth – a clean mouth is a happy mouth. The best chat up line in the World won’t help you if it’s caked in gaseous toxic bad breath. Use some mouth freshener and make sure that lamb chop you had for dinner isn’t sticking out your front incisor.
  2. The numbers game – follow the rules of probability! Probability is a way of expressing knowledge or belief that an event will occur or has occurred – simply put the more people you approach the higher your chance of pulling success. Simple!
  3. Timing – this should be linked to the probability tip above. Give yourself plenty of time. Don’t leave everything to the last minute – we’ve all been there when panic sets in ten minutes before the club is about to close and you realise that you should of got in there earlier so don’t wait till the last minute and remember the 3 P’s of pulling – planning, preparation and presentation,.
  4. Be realistic – beauty and the beast is a fairy tale! Beauty only tends to go for the beast if he/she is an A lister or if you have the cash funds of a Saudi prince. So stick to people who you have a reasonable chance with. You could increase your chances by actually playing below par – a friend of mine used to say ‘go ugly early to avoid the rush’ that way he knew he had a high chance of success. It’s a funny old game this pulling lark!
  5. Alcohol – let’s be honest we all love it! Be it ten pints of lager, a couple of bottles of Blossom Hill or a few glasses of Disaronno. It gets us going and in the mood. Just the right amount can make us funnier, more confident and more relaxed…but don’t go too far as it can oh so easily go horribly wrong. So know your limits and watch out for those beer goggles to avoid any nasty shocks the next morning.
  6. Chat up lines – Grab your coat…You’ve Pulled!! – do any of these actually work? The truth is no…well not that we have found. With the risk of sounding a bit lame, you have to be yourself – well actually be just the good bits of yourself – funnier, more intelligent and mysterious than you would normally be. I mean you wouldn’t be yourself in a job interview would you? So just treat it as the same thing – an interview to… err…getting laid!
  7.  Appearance – which would you rather unwrap? The present in the cheap brown paper or the expensive looking sparkly paper one with a bow! Be that expensive present and dress well and maybe someone will want to unwrap you. We ain’t got time to go through the whole Gok Wan lesson in what or what not to wear so just dress well and use some common sense i.e. 20 stone + hot pants = misery.
  8. Humour – You don’t have to have the razor sharp intellect of Stephen Fry, just try and show you have a few brain cells in there with a little flirty witty conversation. Keep jokes cheeky and clean. Again, be careful with the alcohol on this one. Start slurring your words and it’s game over.
  9. Friends – an under valued commodity in the dating game – they can be a good source of providing possible targets, they can be used to do your bidding – “excuse me…my mate fancies you” and most importantly they are there to back you up (laugh at you) should you fail on the pulling task.
  10.  Technology – this is the 21st Century baby! The micro chip has had a big stake in today’s dating game – online dating, text messages, phone chat, chat rooms, social networks – you name it you’ll find it and they are all designed to get you chatting and meeting people. So give it a go…Hell you could even try You’ve Pulled.com and see if you can pull online, by text or on the phone. What have you got to lose?